CHEATING -- Merriam Webster’s Dictionary definition
Cheat: \ˈchēt\ verb: 1 : to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud; 2 : to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice; 3 : to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting
Cheating carries a large genre of application – from copying the answers of a classmate for an exam, taking money from the bank in a game of Monopoly, or simply telling a lie. However, those aren’t the types of cheating I’m blogging about today…. No! I’m referring to cheating that involves matters of the heart. ACHTUNG BABY!!!
We all know someone who has cheated or been cheated on. The prevalence of its occurrence has spurned the syndicated reality television show “Cheaters” now in its 10th year airing. The pain experienced and destruction cheating brings demonstrates that nothing good comes from it! So, why is it still so prevalent???
While I have never cheated, nor am I referring to any current personal situation, this topic has been heavily discussed amongst many of my friends lately. In fact, at this very moment as I am writing this blog, another conversation of cheating ensued with my friends sitting with me. I’m not sure I will ever understand what would make someone decide to cheat on someone they supposedly care about, especially when there are vows in place! I have a zero tolerance level with cheating… similar to drinking and driving. Just don’t do it!
While Webster’s dictionary defines cheating to be sexually unfaithful, it also states it is “to violate rules dishonestly.” With the exception of “open-relationships” (I’m not even going to try to understand that phenomenon!) a committed relationship involves the rule of exclusivity – you are committed to sharing yourself intimately and emotionally with another person you care about. The degree to which those rules apply may vary between the participants of that relationship. Any infringement on those understood “rules” is cheating. Personally, for me, a good rule of thumb is to treat your partner as you would want to be treated! And that includes, not putting yourself in compromising situations that could lead you to possibly cheat!!!
The prevalence of the occurrence of cheating in society today frightens and disappoints me. While, some may point to cheating as merely a symptom of something else wrong in a relationship, it still does not justify it. Many marriages and relationships dissolve as a result of this selfish act! For a fabulously single girl like myself, the prevalence of cheating makes the allure of being in a committed relationship less desirable. Moreover, with the evolution of the internet, facebook, twitter and email, cheating has become even easier!!!!
In fact there is an agency that caters to people who are currently in a relationship and would like to cheat! They proudly boast that they are “The World's Premier Discreet Dating Service with over 6,700,000 anonymous members.” Have affairs become so common now, that it’s almost acceptable? Does that mean the victims in these relationships must tolerate unfaithful facts? If so, these are sad times! Count me out! Why bother taking vows of honesty??? Sometimes there appears to be even a double standard to cheating. How often have we heard of a woman taking back a man who has cheated, while for many men, a woman cheating on them marks the end of a relationship – that point of no return!
To me cheating is a selfish act, a lack of consideration for one’s partner and the consequences that may follow. Most importantly, the element of trust has been compromised. A relationship without trust is one without a foundation!
I must believe that our social standards will revert to an intolerance of cheating (or perhaps male and female concubines). For people who know they have a problem with being faithful, the solution is simple – be honest and direct with people you are dating, stay single, avoid committed relationships and if necessary (i.e. you suffer from sex addiction like some celebrities) seek help!
Interestingly, nobody really wants to be cheated on (including cheaters), yet still cheating occurs. Perhaps, if more people reconsidered the value of their current relationship, communicated their feelings and concerns, as oppose to fulfilling a momentary inappropriate urge, a crusade against cheating may begin.