Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Art of Being Attractive

Ahhhh….. the thing that most people desire - to be the apple of someone’s eye.  There seems to be some alluring power of being attractive.  It’s human nature.  But, I believe part of the secret of being attractive is less about you and more about how you make others around you feel.  By making people feel good about themselves, empowered and liberated, it promotes an image of independence, assurance in self and of humanity, that on some basic level to all is attractive.  Here are some ways that the art of being attractive is cultivated. 

1. Have a Passion, but Not an Obsession
Have you ever met someone who seemed to have an interesting life that you just wanted to be a part of?  Their life probably seemed interesting because they were living out their passion.  My challenge to you, is for you to be that person.  Part of it means getting real and identifying what it is you are really passionate about and following through.  Make and live your life excitingly, if you do that you become a magnet for others and also a leader by example.

2. Posture, Posture, Posture
Shoulders back, tall, head up and a walk of confidence commands attention.  When it comes to dating, I believe posture can make someone seemingly unattractive appear as if they are Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt.  I don’t care if you are 4 feet or 6 feet if you walk with a strong posture it draws attention and attraction to you.

3. Smile
I’ve probably said this a thousand times in my tweets and facebook statuses, but a smile is contagious!  It lights up a room and makes people feel welcomed in your company.  It is an attractor.  Be that energy and that beacon of contagious smiling, setting the tone when you enter a room.  It doesn’t cost you anything to smile and the rewards are abundant.  Think about it, when someone smiles do they not instantly seem approachable and interesting.  Men you have a leg up on this, because not enough men smile.  Smiling separates you from the pack.

4. Make People Feel Special in Your Company
These people have the ability to give their full attention to others, no matter how brief, and to make everyone they come into contact with feel like all that they are saying is relevant, no matter how inconsequential it may be.  They are that magnet that draws everyone to them.  Remember, at the end of the day everybody wants to feel special or important and we each have the ability to do so.

5. Have a Personality
This one’s a killer.  You can be the most beautiful person in the world, but that will only take you so far.  Revealing some depth to your personality creates sustenance.  Remember beauty fades, but personality lasts a lifetime. I believe personality also correlates with one’s authenticity.  I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve met who are lacking in personality or are fame/popularity driven.  A HUGE turnoff!  But, someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves and have a “take me as I am attitude,” lights up a room and also encourage others to do the same.

People have attraction confused with appearance – body size, height and features.  That may be part of it but, certainly not all of it.  Moreover, attraction to one’s appearance does not last.  It is how we carry ourselves and make other people feel, which truly attracts others to us and lasts a lifetime.

Your relationship non-expert,