Thursday, September 22, 2011

5 Things Men Look for in Women

Wednesday's Relationship Corner

This was originally posted on Huffington Post.

When it comes to matters of the heart, it seems that all everyone wants is to love and to be loved in return. Yet, as simple as this shared mutual goal may seem, men and women seem to be speaking different languages. They fail to understand the other's desires, which results in amassed dating "games" and confusion. This week I thought I would take a look at what it is men really want from women. Surveying my 2,500 Facebook friends (a very reliable source) I think I might have begun to crack this code.

1. Attraction. There must be some level of attraction, which peaks a man's interest. This doesn't necessarily mean a women needs to look like a Barbie doll or an air-brushed model. Often attraction comes down to how a woman carries herself. A woman walking with confidence, while appearing approachable, can stop traffic and make the most unlikely guy a believer.

2. Independence. We have certainly entered a new era where independence is highly lauded. Men now enjoy women who have their own life going for them. Their life is so exciting and amazing, that they want to be a part of it. Gone are the days that a man wants a woman who will drop all that she's doing for him.

3. Fun. Men enjoy women who can make them smile and the time with them appear to fly by. Being fun may include being spontaneous, humorous or willing to try new things. Often the secret ingredient to being fun is to just be yourself. When you are authentic you are likely to remove any barriers or inhibition you may have, and be less concerned about how you are being perceived.

4. Sanity. Sorry ladies, apparently attributing your mood to hormones is not acceptable. Surprisingly, men do not enjoy women who may, from time to time, appear like Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. Men enjoy women who come with minimal drama, do not overreact and have a mood which doesn't change as often as the current weather. This can be a fine line, as some men do enjoy a strong and assertive woman. But, just like Mary J. Blige's song, they want "No More Drama."

5. Support. This was overwhelmingly mentioned by the "expert" Facebook men I surveyed. It reminds me of a Maya Angelou quote, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." When it comes to relationships, how you make someone feel provides the sustenance power, which can allow a relationship to survive World War III. It is internal, trusting, lasting and provides that "Je ne sais quoi" characteristics. Never underestimate the power of providing a genuine ear to your special someone when they are having a bad day, or believing in them when their dreams may seem impossible. You, my dear, are being supportive and valued for this rare quality.

Hopefully, I've cracked the Martian language of men and have given women an inside look at what it is men want. Next week, I'll reveal what it is women want in a man, and hopefully bridge the language barrier between men and women when it comes to dating.
Your Non-Relationship Expert,
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