Wednesday, October 5, 2011

6 Things Women Look for in a Man

As originally posted on the Huffington Post, Sunday October 2, 2011.

Last week, I began to bridge the barrier between men and women, revealing five things men look for in women. Being a female and unable to understand men's language, I turned to my trusty and reliable Facebook friends who were very forthcoming. This week, as promised, I continue the discussion by sharing hours of "girl-chat" as well as the comments of my Facebook friends (yet, again), to reveal what it is women look for in men.

1. Chivalry
Chivalry is not dead! A woman notices whether a man opens the door for her, walks closer to the traffic or pulls out a chair for her when she sits. This is something that separates any man from the pack. A woman with a man who does this will be the envy of all her girlfriends. Yep, you can bet she'll be bragging about your gentleman qualities.

2. Emotionally Available
A quick web search on relationship woes will reveal that being emotionally unavailable is a disease claiming the lives of many men. If you are a man who is afflicted by this disease, you would do well to seek help immediately! Being a man means being able to share how you feel and not worry about how you'll be seen. Gone are the days of a stoic appearance and seeming to have it all together. A blank wall is more attractive than
a guy like this. If you're a man having difficulty tapping into this side of yourself, perhaps try watching the movie The Notebook instead of Beaches for a full recovery.
3. Attention to Detail
Women enjoy a man who pays attention to the small details and can recall them at a much later time. This will win any man huge points! For example, let's say your woman of interest tells an inconsequential story about lunch with a friend and in passing she mentions the name of the restaurant. Two weeks later you ask her, "How was the restaurant XYZ you went with your friend the other day? I was thinking we should go out for dinner tonight." A man will be instantly elevated to a level of superhero status, if at a later time, he can remember the small details and demonstrate he was really listening.

4. Compliment Genuinely and Compliment Unexpectedly
Yes, she may look great when she is dressed up and you should definitely let her know. But, it is also important to let a woman know just how special she is to you in her day-to-day life. See her laugh, smile or dimple in her cheek and
compliment her on it. Stop to tell her (randomly, out of the blue), "You know, I really like the way you smile. Geeze, you are so beautiful just as you are!" Try this and you'll be thanking me. (Warning, doing this could grant you a month of freedom with your wolf pack, a.k.a. friends.)

5. Honesty
For any relationship to be successful there must be a sense of trust. Honesty is the glue that holds a relationship together and also an attractive feature. Even when it might not be the most pleasant news to tell a woman, it is better for a man to be open and honest than to tell a lie. Women have long perfected the art of detecting a liar. Most times a woman may let a man think he's pulled one over her as she sits back and mentally deconstructs his story, and in doing so, notes that things just don't add up -- all the while NEVER letting the man know she knows what he has just told her was a complete lie. Word of wisdom: just don't lie.

6. Confidence
Confidence is the key to being attractive.
It will grab any woman's attention. And confidence should not be confused with arrogance, which involves a false sense of self. But, rather being confident involves taking stock in who you are (not what you do). Confidence should never be based upon your achievements or possessions; these are superficial and transient. Confidence needs to be deep rooted -- it's the belief that you are able to meet whatever challenge is placed before you. It's visible in a man's posture and the way that he carries himself. A man who knows this and owns it (without being arrogant) is like honey is to a bee.

At the end of the day, all a woman wants is to be adored. Yes, it's that simple. It means taking an interest in what she wants, what she is about, what she values and what she is striving for, while being nurturing. In truth, what any and everyone wants is to feel is important! Adoration speaks to this.
Women and men may have different languages, each one struggling to understand the other. But, perhaps if we each take time to think about what we want from that special someone, we'll probably find they would like the same thing in return.

Your non-relationship expert,

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