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Once upon a time divorce was taboo, yet somehow we’ve entered a time where it is incredibly common. Now, a marriage lasting 72 days, such as Kim Kardashian, or a marriage riddled with infidelity is okay? Maybe that’s why the traditional vows of “Till death do we part,” have been commonly replaced by brides and grooms writing their own vows. (I wonder if people include in their vows, “If this gets too tough I’m leaving”.)
While I understand divorce’s may be more complicated then that, and most people don’t enter a marriage planning to divorce some day, it does make me wonder when do we know we are ready for marriage, and are people settling?
Ironically, if you are not married or making plans to be married by the age of 30, it is not uncommon for someone to wonder why you are still single or utter the words “maybe your standards are too high” (possibly from someone on their third marriage). I’m of the belief that no one should ever settle, especially when it comes to marriage. When has settling for anything made someone insanely happy? I believe people should be fair in evaluating what it is what they want, while setting realistic AND satisfying standards that will last a lifetime. Here’s why you should never settle:
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2. Spend time getting to know yourself. Sometimes the real problem is people don’t even know themselves and what it is they want. Time being single is quality time you should spend understanding yourself. Yes, dare to explore the abyss of you! Being authentic now may allow you to avoid a mid-life crisis later. Sometimes, people are so scared to spend time with themselves that they end up going from one relationship to the next. If you are that person, your relationship addiction may leave you susceptible to settling.
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4. Settling is a Sign of Fear. Similarly, settling screams a fear of being a lone. One is not the loneliest number; but a one plus someone you’re not really into is! This world is big and there is someone out there for everyone, if we so desire. More importantly, the time you waste with Mr. or Miss. Wrong may be the time that you miss from being with Mr. or Miss. Right. The thing you should fear is settling!
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6. A divorce increases your likeliness of a subsequent marriage ending in divorce. While divorce is no longer taboo and you may see it as your get out of jail free card if things don’t work out, it also leaves you more susceptible to another, and another, and another divorce. Yes, those who divorce are more likely to have subsequent marriages end in a divorce. It’s a fact, so wouldn’t you rather get it right the first time?
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In the end love is really what everyone is looking for and everyone needs. There are A LOT of people out there and everyone wants to feel special! So, don’t settle! You are worth it!
You’re Non-Relationship Expert,
Nicole
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