GENERALLY, it seems that most men generate value in a relationship by being the provider. Provider??? Hmm… does that mean by financial bearing? What if a woman is more financially secured than a man, does he feel threatened? Do guys feel that a woman needs to be with someone more on her level? Are women punished for their success? Sometimes, I think so!
I have some trouble with this notion of Provision? Providing can come in many manners – it’s in an exclusively reserved special smile, a wanting ear that listens, a strong arm that embraces, remembering birthdays & special occasions or cooking and taking care of a family – for example. Why must providing be equated to dollar and cents? I mean for years men have been the ‘bread winner’ and women have stayed at home, raising a family. Were those women not also providing???
So, I ask my male counterparts “Would you be okay if your woman made twice as much money as you? “ And I mean really okay? As for the ladies, “Could you be okay with a man that made half of what you made, if his provision was not solely financial?”
Now, there needs to be some caveats with this. No one generally is interested in someone who is a freeloader with no ambition, taking pride in spending their significant other’s loot. I know the term reserved for women is “Gold Digger.” But, what I’m talking about is looking beyond the size of one’s pay check!
For me, my interests in a man are far deeper than their personal bank account. Nonetheless, I am old fashioned and do enjoy the courting rituals. One of my good male friend and I often talk about this. Whereby, I believe on a date (while courting) a man should pay. If he can’t afford to pay for dinner, why not get ingenious and find another method to show his interest (i.e. make dinner!).
While my friend is partial to the notion of a man paying for dinner, he also believes has a good gesture the girl should offer to pay. Maybe -- but, gentlemen beware. A woman may offer, with the expectation she’ll be turned down. Obviously, if she is insistent she is genuine in her offer…. Ahhh… the world of dating…Definitely a topic for another Blog entry.
In the end, I can’t help wondering how far we as a society have really evolved with regards to women and men. Yes, it appears that if you are a female with a determined goal you can be successful, but with regards to romance it can be your Achilles. Although, perhaps the man that is not intimidated by a woman’s bank account is the type of man any woman should want. Isn’t this type of man demonstrating security with himself? And really who wants to be with an insecure man?
I have a feeling I will be revisiting this topic, as it seems to conjure up many other sub-areas worth discussing.