Monday, January 24, 2011

Can Men & Women Really be Friends?

Originally posted on November 11, 2008, this blog has been reposted...

If I were to get married tomorrow, I’d imagine my bridesmaids would include Glenn, Eric, Boswell, Glenroy and possibly Bobby. While, I do have a close circle of female friends, I have an even greater circle of close male friends.
Recently one of my friends posed the question “can men & women really be friends?” (as sited in the movie “When Harry met Sally”) We all weighed on this simple, yet perplexing question.

Obviously, because of my circle of male friends, I am biased in the belief that it is possible. Personally, my male friends offer a perspective that my female friends can’t. When it comes to dating, my close male friends are my Oprahs. I consult with them, as they give me insight into how guys think. Also, I consider myself at times an alpha-male trapped inside this female body. I don’t enjoy gossiping and talking about the newest hairstyles. However, I do enjoy WWE, an occasional PS3 game and just being silly (often entertaining & implementing dares). As of lately, I’ve been thinking of capping my number of male friends. Probably more for inventory reasons.


One solution to this question is the ETERNAL FRIEND BOX. There is no chance of getting out once I place a male friend in this box. It’s like I see them only as a brother, and anything beyond that would be incestuous.

There is however one draw back of having opposite gendered friends -- the serious relationship which inevitably leads to marriage. Once a male friend has moved in this direction, we can no longer be as close. It would be wrong talking with them to the wee hours, discussing personal experiences, and emotions when they should be sharing that with their new best friend – their wife. I’ve lost a couple of friends to this assail, but, don’t mind. As a true friend, I revel in their new found joy!

Plain and simple I do believe it is possible for men and women to be friends. Perhaps, for a man and a woman to be friends, there should be no attraction between the two in the beginning. Although, it is possible for a man and woman to develop attraction through the friendship, therefore, placing oneself in non-compromising situations becomes important. It is a good idea to be aware, honest and true about your feelings at all times. Also a committed relationship should always trump the friendship. The safest bet is to only have opposite gendered friends who are gay or to place your heterosexual friends in the eternal friend box. Lock that thing up and throw away the key…

Oddly enough, it seems to me that the person you would want to be in a serious committed relationship with should be a best friend. Does that mean being a friend first is a rite of passage? Geeze, that definitely makes this debate even more confusing!

Eternal Friend Box Subscriber,
Nicole

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