Monday, January 31, 2011

Relationships & the power of "POOF! Be Gone!" (ACHTUNG SERIES )

For some reason my blogs on relationships seem to garner the most attention, responses, emails and comments lately… I lamented about this, but have decided perhaps I’ll continue further discussion on this topic for the next little while… Personally, these are harder blogs to write, but I’ll roll with it.  (Ironically, I am participating in a Bachelor/Bachelorette auction for the Canadian Centre of Abuse and Awareness this Thursday, February 3, 2011…. If you’re in the area come out and support this cause.)


Monday's Music Lyrics - Irreplaceable

It’s disturbing to me how many people are willing to settle when it comes to relationships.  We have only this life, and yet some people will marry or date for the sake of being with someone before taking a moment to decide what it is they really need and want from a person.
I am old fashioned (in some ways) and believe a man should pursue a woman... Personally, I will not chase a guy, and find nothing as endearing as when a man is smitten by a woman…. But, that’s my bag…
I also believe that it’s human nature to desire a relationship.  But, my question is, at what cost?  I would rather be fabulously single than to have a settling relationship.  It took me some time to realize this, but the truth is, people need to recognize and KNOW their own worth, before demanding another person to value them.  And I’m not talking about arrogance, but rather self-appreciation and a deep rooted confidence.   If more people recognized their worth, less people would stand for someone not giving them what they need in a relationship.  In fact, you’re not going to settle for just any relationship.  You’re going to want the BEST because you know YOU ARE THE BEST!  As cliché as it is, people are like buses, there is always another one around the corner.  And the time you waste with the wrong person is time lost with being with the RIGHT person!
And if you’re single, NOW is the time to take a moment and UNDERSTAND how awesome you are.  Make that commitment that not just anybody will do.  Know what you want.  And don’t get caught up in the idea of what someone COULD be.  Take them at face value.  And ladies, if a man isn’t giving you the attention you deserve – such as calling you (for no reason), making plans to be with you, initiating interaction, making time for you even if he's busy (and texting DOES NOT count!!!!), LET HIM GO.  And for the men out there, if you are dating a woman who doesn’t recognize and appreciate you, you might have to LET HER GO… or as I like to say – Throw that fish back in the sea!  (Poof! Be Gone!)  Lastly, if you are with someone incredible, NEVER take them for granted.  Let them know how much you do appreciate them! (Obviously, communicating your issues are essential before POOFING someone.)
I like the song “Irreplaceable” because it demonstrates a woman taking a stand and realizing she can do better than what she is getting from her relationship (and I hope anyone in her situation would have the courage to do the same).  I played it to my sister and she thought it sounded like a break up song… I actually find it a song of strength and affirmation that if someone isn’t giving you what you deserve they are replaceable…. It’s that simple!

Life is meant to be abundant! We are all amazing (in our own ways), and everyone deserves someone who recognizes that. Don’t settle in your job, ambitions, and certainly don’t settle in relationships!
Never Settling,
Nicole
Irreplaceable by Beyonce

Songwriters: Lind, Espen; Smith, Shaffer; Knowles, Beyonce; Bjorklund, Amund; Eriksen, Mikkel S; Hermansen, Tor Erik;

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left

Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff, yes
If I bought it please don't touch

And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time?
And it's my name that is on that tag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up that chick and see if she's home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?

Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool, talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since if I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy

To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
To the left, to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
To the left, to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking, baby

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute

You could pack all your things, we're finished
(You must not know 'bout me)
'Cause you made your bed, now lay in it
(You must not know 'bout me)
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pretty cool blog Nicole, I had to make a comment though. This is a great song and I like it, but I have to disagree with it. I don't think that it's as easy for a woman to find a good man, as it is for a man to find a good woman. I know far more woman than men who are single and unhappy, or who "settle" for a man below the standards of what they deserve. So when Beyonce says, "I can find another you in a minute", if she is talking about another guy who isn't what she needs and deserves then cool. But if she is talking about a great guy, one that she does deserve, I don't think its a realistic thing to say.

Nicole Wendy Forrester said...

Thanks for leaving a comment... I enjoyed your points... I believe ultimately people will treat you as you let them treat you, especially in relationships... Often people are so desperate to be in a relationship, they'll compromise on speaking up and addressing their needs, and essentially settle. ALSO, sometimes I think people can be in the dark about how they are treating the person they supposedly love. Less condemming, complaining and criticizing is needed and more appreciation... Who wants to be around someone who doesn't appreciate them. Personally, I have a lot of single, attractive, amazing male friends, so I know they are out there... I can tell you as a single female who believes I have a lot to offer, my experience shows me there are no shortage of men out there, and because of that I do not feel pressured to settle... And one last thing, I believe it is the attitude people have for themselves which draws other people to them...