Monday, June 27, 2011


An oldie but a goodie… I thought I would revisit a blog topic I wrote in 2008… Cougar…

For those of you who don’t know what a “Cougar” is, it is a term referring to an older woman, (usually in her 40s, 50s or 60s) who sexually pursues younger men (usually in their 20s and 30s).

There are few things I hate and the term Cougar is definitely one of them.  It is derogatory, demeaning and a complete throw back to the leaps and bounds the women’s movement has made.  To me it is even worse when it is endorsed by females.  And if you don’t have a problem with it, I have one question for you “Are you kidding me???”

Now, while I have dated younger men, it actually is not my personal preference. But, that’s me. (I also like anchovies with pineapples on pizza and room temperature water, but that's me again.)

I see no problem with a women or a man choosing to date someone younger. However, I do feel the word “Cougar” in reference to a woman is offensive, degrading and a sexist word. Since, when is it acceptable to refer to females with disparaging terms? And what makes this word more offensive is that it seems to be in vogue.

Men have been chasing, dating and marrying younger women for years, but socially it is deemed to be acceptable. Yet, a woman who pursues this same path is a woman on the prowl – hunting for the young victim man. How is it socially acceptable in this day and age to refer to a woman as a Cougar?

Besides if you really want to get technical about it, women outlive men by approximately 8 years and while the biological clock is said to tick for women, it is also ticking for men.  While, men will always have sperm (unlike women who lose their eggs with menopause) men over the age of 40 produce less sperm and more genetic abnormalities (Fisch, Hyun, Golden, Hensle, Olsson, and Liberson,, 2003;  Hampton, 2005).  Chew on that fact!  

I can’t tell you the number of 40s, 50s or 60s year olds who have tried to talk to me and to what male version word of Cougar do I have to refer to these men? Is it possible that they are equally interested in me because of my difference in age? Should I then call them mid-life crisis men? That’s pretty offensive and also not appropriate. How about we just refer to someone who prefers a younger person, to them by their actual given name? Everyone is allowed to have preferences and should not be stigmatized and/or stereotyped by it.

Free to love whom ever,

Fisch, H., Hyun, G., Golden, R., Hensle, T.W.,Olsson, C.A., Liberson, G.L. (2003). The influence of paternal age on Down Syndrome. Journal of Urology. 169(6): 2275-8.

Hampton, T. (2005). Researchers Discover a Range of Factors Undermine Sperm Quality, Male Fertility. Journal of American Medical Association. 294: 2829- 2831.