Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Do’s and Don’ts of Approaching a Girl to Date


I’m not sure what is going on, but lately it seems like Facebook has become the new  While it can be funny, and endearing it can also be ALL WRONG!  Last week, I received one email in particular that had me wondering what is wrong with the world of Facebook?  Seriously!!!  Specifically, this one guy claimed I was meant for him and he was meant for me.  There were no two better people that could set the world on fire.  He went on to say “Let’s make our 2 bloods 1 and you can be my Queen.  Marry me!”  Yes, I received a marriage proposal via a Facebook email, by someone I do not know and is not even a Facebook friend.   Attention, men this is NOT the way to woo a girl.
Contrary to popular beliefs women are very easy creatures.  We want someone who values us, makes us feel like we are special and cares about us.  Given the recent transactions on Facebook and discussions with my male friends, I thought I’d share some Do’s and Don’ts in asking a girl out.
DO introduce yourself.  Keep it simple and just be yourself!   Introducing yourself as “Hi, I’m Jon Doe.  What’s your name? And/or How are you?” it’s that easy.  You don’t have to promise the world without even knowing her name.  I have gone on dates with guys I might not have otherwise, simply because their approach was simple.
DON’T depend on social media, texting or emailing to interact with her.  These avenues for communications are very easy but, also weaken your assertiveness.  Be a man and pick up the phone and call her.  If you don’t have her number, ask her for it and follow up with a phone call.
DO be confident.  Remember your amazing qualities and reasons why any girl should be so fortunate to get to know you.  Confidence (not arrogance) may possibly be the hottest feature in a man. Even the most assertive woman wants a confident man that shows her she can lean on him. 
DON’T act a certain way and present yourself in a light that is not true.   This can be transparent and certainly doesn’t last.  After all, with enough time your true identity will emerge.  You want her to like you for who you are, NOT what you think she wants.
DO ask her questions about herself.  This shows that you are interested in her, especially if you remember what she tells you and later on refer to it.  This shows that you were listening!  This is a real winner for points with women and separates you from the pack.
DON’T talk mainly about yourself.  Yes, people’s favourite topic is themselves, but sometimes talking exclusively about yourself gives the appearance that you are not interested in the other person.
DO let her know the attributes about her you enjoy.  However, a word of caution here - in the beginning, you don’t have to overdo it with the compliments, because this could make you appear like you have the scent of desperation.  Definitely as you get to know her better you should kick up the compliments.  But, in the beginning it’s a good idea to let her know the simple things about her you appreciate.
DON’T talk about how beautiful another girl is with the girl you are interested in.  This is a BAD move!  It makes you appear like you do not value her, and you’re not interested in her as well as that she is not in the realm of beauty as the other girl you are talking about.
DO ask her out.  If you genuinely like her and want to get to know her better, go ahead and ask her out!
The non-relationship expert,

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