4 Common but Deadly Mistakes Made in the World of Dating

WEDNESDAY'S RELATIONSHIP CORNER

So, you met Mr. or Miss. Perfect….And they are sooooooo fabulous. When it comes to dating it’s easy to get excited with our new love interest.  However, it’s also easy to lose all sense and make some critical mistakes that in the end only hurt you.  Here are 4 common but deadly mistakes made in the world of dating.  Be on your guard…

Playing Masquerade

It’s natural to want to put your best foot forward when dating in the beginning.  The problem is when this best foot forward is something, you can’t sustain over time.  You might find yourself a “need to pleaser” or playing up other interests while doing less of what you really want.  With enough time you’ll be forced to confront the truth and realize just how much you don’t like watching WWE with your new boyfriend or watching the Lifetime Channel with your new girlfriend.  You’ll go insane keeping up this masked version of you!  That’s why it pays dividends to always be YOU.  Sounds cliché, but if someone can’t like you for who YOU really are, then why would you want to be with that person? 

The Chase

If you are a woman and you find yourself always calling a guy, wishing he’d call you back, or return your text messages… or if you are simply wondering if a guy likes you (as you relive your last interaction with him and what it all meant)… STOP… You are chasing that guy and if you are chasing he probably doesn’t want to get caught… by you.  He really is ‘not that into you!’  You have the complete stench of desperation and it is not working in your favour. 

The other side of this dilemma is men who are afraid to pursue.  If you are a guy and are interested in a girl YOU need to let her know.  Man up!  An assertive man gives the presence of confidence – like you know what you want!  Too many times guys are too afraid to ask us girls out… We aren’t mind readers so a lot of times a guy may miss out because the girl doesn’t even suspect the guy is interested in her.  And if she does, but senses he is too shy to ask, this could make her less interested in him.  Generally, women like a man with a spine in him - some assertiveness and strength.  Dig deep and find the courage.  The worse thing a girl can say is no. 

Making the Other Person Jealous

This is playing with fire… and most importantly playing with one’s emotion. 

When it comes to women, making a girl jealous with another girl can blow up in a guys face.  For a few girls, they could develop “Fatal Attraction” for the guy and no guy wants their rabbit to be boiled.  Probably for most girls, attempting to make us jealous is a sure way to make us lose TOTAL interest in you!

It is confusing because for some guys, when a girl makes them jealous with another guy they may become more interested in the girl.  However, they will also be hurt and may display some anger.  This is a game of Russian roulette and not one I’d advise.  There are many other ways to get that certain someone’s attention and jealousy should not be the way.

Living on Fantasy Island

Letting go is often a challenge many people struggle with.  When a relationship is over or headed downwards, they may hang on to it for dear life.  They’ll pay homage to all the good times they had, the many memories they’ve shared and the visions of what they saw their future could look like.  All the while completely discounting the reality of the bad times and just how NOT right the relationship was for them. 

If you ever find yourself here, you are in the world of fantasy.  You are holding onto what you envisioned could be, and once you can let go of La La Land you will be able to move on. It’s truly the fantasies that make you feel bad.  Also, as long as you are in a head space about someone you are not available for the next better and more wonderful person that comes along… You need to POOF! Be Gone! those fantasies ... immediately.

When you know better, you do better.  In some ways I believe that over time the dating game becomes one about learning more about ourselves.  Always be yourself, know your worth, play fair and stick to reality (confronting the brutal truth as needed). And most importantly, when it comes to dating have fun!

Your relationship non-expert, girl with a blog and idle thoughts,

Nicole

P.S:  Thank you for the many of you who have expressed a liking for my Wednesday’s Relationship Corner blogs.  If you have topics you’d like me to blog on, on this or any other topic let me know. Feel free to post your suggestion anonymously under “Comments” or email me.  Again, I must remind you, I’m not an expert in this area.  I’m just a girl with a blog and idle thoughts.