Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Part 2: What Women Want... (the stuff that really matters)

In last Wednesday’s Relationship Corner, I unveiled what women truly want from a man when it comes to physical attributes.  This week, as promised, I continue this discussion on the emotional/mental side of things… The things that really matter most; and can trump a man who is dismally weak on the physical side of things. 
So, let’s say you’ve succeed with getting our attention, what women really want is to be adored.  Yep, it’s that simple. It means taking an interest in us, what we are about, what we value and what it is we are striving for.  In truth, what any and everyone wants to feel is important!  Adoration speaks to this. 

So what does this entail???

Do not lie.  We women have perfected the art of detecting a liar.  Most times we’ll let you “think” you’ve pulled one over us as we sit back and mentally take stenography of your “story” while noting it doesn’t quite add up... All the while, NEVER letting you know we know what you have just told us was a bold face LIE!!! Honestly, this is a sure way to look like a loser.

Pay attention to the small details and recall upon them at a much later time.  This will win you huge points!  For example, your woman of interest tells an inconsequential story about lunch with a friend and in passing she mentions the name of the restaurant.  Let’s say two weeks later you ask her “how was the restaurant XYZ you went with your friend the other day?  I was thinking we should go out for dinner tonight.” … You will be elevated to a level of super hero status, if at a later time, you can remember small details and demonstrate you were really listening.

Share yourself.  If you are emotionally unavailable don’t waste our time. POOF! Be Gone!  Get some Doctor Phil help or something, ASAP!!! Maybe if you’re lucky, we’ll consider giving you a second chance, once you’ve got this nailed (operative word is “lucky”).  Being a man means being able to share how you feel and not worry about how you’ll be seen.  Gone are the days of a stoic appearance and seeming to have it all together.  A blank wall is more attractive than a guy like this.  If you’re having problem tapping into this side of yourself, watch the movie Rudy than Beaches and finally The Notebook for a full emersion recovery.
Compliment her unexpectedly.  Yes, she may look great when she is dressed up and you should definitely let her know.  But, also in her day to day activities… See her laugh, smile or dimple in her cheek and compliment her on it.  Stop to tell her (randomly, out of the blue) “You know I really like the way you smile.  Geeze, you are so beautiful just as you are!”… Try this and you’ll be thanking me.  (Warning, doing this could grant you a month of freedom with your wolfpack a.k.a. friends.)
Lastly and most importantly be honest and real.  Be you!  This is where a lot of guys miss out…  In my books, you could have everything else and not this last element and I’d have to “POOF!  Be Gone!” you.  You don’t have to be perfect with us.  If you’ve got our attention, you’ve got us interested and we have already accounted for your possible flaws.  We’re trying to like you just as you are, but if you can’t be real, we can’t be real.

This actually could be a real selling point. There is certainly a “Je ne c’est quoi” appeal of a guy that is spiritual (regardless of their faith) for some girls.  I am respectful and appreciate people’s different faith, so I won’t go into detail with this area.   I’ll only say if you are lacking in this department maybe try practicing celibacy, spending a week at a monastery or watch the movie Ghandi….

Your Wednesday’s Relationship Non-Expert,


Chuck Bastie said...

This is by far, my most favourite blog that I have read from you so far. I think it is fair, accurate, and I love your truth and honesty. Well done ;)

v.rus said...

I like this blog topic. It`s realy basic one in the humans world. But what would you recommend to a bussy husband(a man loving his wife and two sweet sons) who has been just finishing construction of new hous (papers,offices,stamps,signatures,...) and working wery hard to earn enough money. A man trying do his best in care about his family (sons, wife). Always being first who comes to cool down any arguments (mostly begining for stupidities)and trying to keep all your advices above.

Nicole Wendy Forrester said...

Thanks Chuck! I really appreciate your comment! :D

Hey v.rus!
I think gratitude is really the most important thing in any relationship (romantic/friendship/business). And what I mean, is taking time to remind yourself what it is you enjoy about a person. Along with that I believe it is important to articulate this to the person, along side with letting them know (in a positive way) what it is that you are not really enjoying. So, if you want them to meet you half way, you acknowledge that act when they've done it.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely righ! But a second part of couple must go another halfway to meet?!:-)Women are sometimes realy complicated. I adore and love my wife how she is but no response. I do my best but get only kriticism. It`s realy hard to talk to her about herself. Her core is too deep and protected from surrounding world. But thank you for your answer. It`s nice to have somebody to open heart to.:-)Bye. Víťa