Beautiful U R

~ Deborah Cox

Through life
Things may not always go right
For you

And those times
Just leave it behind cause
Sometimes you gotta play the game
Just to survive
Without losing yourself
It's a fight, it's true
It takes time
Don't have all the answers
No matter how hard it gets
Hold on to what's inside

Don't ever let nobody bring you down, girl
Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart
Look in the mirror and see who you are
Beautiful U R

In the dark,
The pain chips away at your heart, so deep
Can't u see? Can't you see?
See the light in the distance
Open up your eyes, look
Look to the sky and believe
There's much more to life when you're free
That's the key

And in time
You will find all the answers
Don't have to lose your pride
Hold on to what's inside

Don't ever let nobody bring you down, girl
Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart
Look in the mirror and see who you are
Beautiful U R

Don't ever let nobody bring you down, girl
Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart
Look in the mirror and see who you are
Beautiful U R


Don't care what they say anymore

There's no time to be insecure
I'm leavin' it all out the door
She's staring me in the face
She's taking it day by day
I'm finally on my way

Don't ever let nobody bring you down, girl
Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart
Look in the mirror and see who you are
Beautiful U R

Don't ever let nobody bring you down, girl
Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart
Look in the mirror and see who you are
Beautiful U R

Beautiful U R, Beautiful U R

Beautiful U R, Beautiful U R

"Canadian's not welcome" -- so says John from Blockbuster

Well, it’s been a while since my last blog… but duty such as life, called, flooding my life with various obligations…. Not too worry, I’ve returned to the world of blogging.

Well, it’s the eve of Good Friday and the day after Passover… one of my most favorite times of the year. I had prepared myself to engage in my regular Christian activities, including watching the Ten Commandments and the Passion of the Christ…. However, it appears this isn’t to be the case. Thanks to John at Blockbuster.

Making a stop at blockbuster, I anxiously checked out with the two movies in hand. When asked if I had my Blockbuster card, I realized I didn’t have it, which is a usual for me. My wallet is already filled with other junk, that if I kept my entire movie and other special cards, it would be too full to carry even in my purse. Now, usually when I rent my movie, they will take my phone number, however, apparently John couldn’t do this. I had to refill out a new application form.

Now I’ll admit, I was a little put off with this, but went ahead with ‘procedure.” However, when it came time for John’s approval, he took one look at my application form, ripped it up and said I couldn’t rent if I had a Canadian driver’s license!

How is this possible??? I mean this was the very same place which issued my blockbuster card in the first place. As a Canadian, I can buy a car, a house, or have a credit card, but I can’t have a blockbuster card? Are you serious??? Obviously, I’m put off. It’s made me want to take my business elsewhere, such as Hollywood Videos or Netflicks. I mean, is the video rental business really in a position to be selective about their customers. If you ask me, John, who happens to be the manager, is on a power trip… I’m just glad he’s not the usher boy at the movies… You’re Canadian --- get to the back of the line!

And what makes this story even more tragic, is he ripped up my application with my address, credit card and driver’s license number still in tack, for anyone to rummage through the garbage and find my info. Thank God, I went through the garbage and shredded them myself.

Desperately seeking a new video rental company,
Nicole

A Victim of Breaking & Entering -- Take anything just Not my Lenovo IdeaPad OR High Jump Spikes

So, I've been wondering what I have done to upset the balance of the world, making me a target for revenge. No seriously, my start to the 2009 has been a challenging one -- death of a friend, an injury, a lump named Ralph...etc.... And just two nights ago, my car was broken into and $5000 worth of goods were stolen. I think I might have reached my limit after the car incidence.

Two days ago, my friend Megan Metcalfe was passing through Toronto, and had to stay the night. She's from Edmonton, Alberta and trains in Virgina, but had never been out & about the sites in Toronto. I mean you just can't come to Toronto and not SEE Toronto - so, I offered to be her personal Tour Guide and take her around.

It was great, totally unplanned and spur of the moment kind of thing. Our tour began with the CN Tower (the 2nd tallest free standing building in the world and a definite tourist attraction). We ended up even eating dinner at the 360* Restaurant, which is at the top of CN Tower and revolves around the city.

We completed the Toronto Tour musts -- standing on the glass floor at the top of the CN Tower, going outside the top of the tower and taking funny pictures in the gift shop -- we decided to call it a night. Indeed, it was a good night! ... Until we returned to my car.

As we walked towards my car I noticed some glass and a dark film on the ground. In a state of shock I slowly looked up to my car thinking "No, not my car! No, not my car!" and saw that indeed it was MY car! AHHHHHHH!!!! I was sick to my stomach! Not only had my car window been broken, the thief made off with my knapsack, which had my red LENOVO IdeaPad U1110, my Flip Video and dissertation work in it! AND my training bag.... Like REALLY do they really need my workout plan and high jump spike!

I couldn't help feeling dirty and violated. It's really an unpleasant feeling... I drove home with regrets, should ofs and could ofs, and realized that I should be glad my friend and I are not hurt and they didn't steal my car. I guess shit really happens... (sorry for the profanity, but it seems the most appropriate word at this time.)

And while my bag wasn't in clear view, it wasn't hidden either, so it's taught me a lesson in that regard. According to the security guard, people will even brake into cars over spare change.

Suffice, to say my friend saw both extremes of a big city -- the Good and the Bad. For me it was a braking point, because, it just seems another random misfortune, I've had within a span of 2 months. I desperately need to be that sun the dog shines on! The way I figure, if I get through all the hard, and challenging stuff now, the rest of my year just has to be BETTER! Whoops, scratch that -- Phenomenal!

Glass half full,

Nicole

A Lump in the Breast

It’s crazy how in an instance your life can change. Two weeks ago my biggest concerns were related to high jump and my dissertation proposal. However, that quickly changed when I discovered a lump in my breast in a random check.

Having dealt with the emotions, I felt it was important to speak of this experience candidly on my blog. I feel no shame and least of all desire no pity. However, if I can make one woman begin to conduct regular breast checks for lumps, I will have succeeded in my goal.

When I discovered the lump I must have sat on my bed for 20 minutes grappling over what I had felt – “Was this really a lump?” “Is it serious” “Is it cancerous?” “How can this be, I’m too young to find a lump?!”

What I had felt was small, but quite distinct; and it felt hard but rubbery. This was something, I had never felt before! And although I didn’t meet the criteria for being at risk for breast cancer, I certainly wasn’t arrogant enough to believe I was impervious to it. Quite the contrary.

I was terrified, and for once, I really was truly confronted with my own mortality, as well as what was really important to me. I have been a long supporter of breast cancer research and its victims, but, hadn’t ever really contemplated the possibility that I could be a face of breast cancer… until last week.

Now, not all lumps are cancerous. In fact, there are four main types of lumps, and many women will have lumps in their lifetime that are not cancerous…. This I learned as I immersed myself in a crash course in breast lumps and breast cancer.

Still, when you are undergoing tests to rule out cancer it can be a terrifying experience. After having some tests performed my lump is apparently just a lump. THANK GOD! Definitely, good news I can handle. Still, just to be safe, we’ll be keeping a close eye on Ralph.

I am so incredibly grateful for these results! And in my moment of gratitude I couldn’t help but wonder about the women who aren’t so fortunate and how they are making steps to treat not just a lump…. How their lives will change? Will she be successful? Will she live a full life? Or is her battle longer and larger than she planned?

I don’t know much but I know that if actions can prevent breast cancer (i.e. a healthy lifestyle) or can aid in early detection, I will engage in these actions. I’ve certainly learned the importance of regular breast checks! Historically, I’ve never been regular with checking for lumps…. possibly delusional by my age and such. But, that was being foolish! Breast cancer does not discriminate against age or race.

Like clock work I will ALWAYS conduct regular breast checks. I hope you and your loved one will do the same. After all early detection is your first line of defense!

A forever changed woman,
Nicole Wendy Forrester

IF TODAY WAS YOUR LAST DAY

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day
Tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
what´s worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there´s no second try
So live like you´ll never live it twice
don´t take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
Tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you´re dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it´s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can´t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day
Tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you´re dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

~by Nickelback

You've Got Mail!

One of my biggest pet peeve is people who do not reply to emails or take their time getting back to me… especially if I’ve taken time in sending a thoughtful email. It’s very ANNOYING! Well, recently, it seems more often than not I have been guilty of this crime…. Boy do I hate being wrong.

An influx of emails combined with a busy schedule, and fatigue has allowed my inbox to rise weekly to an unsightly number that makes it discouraging to even attempt to respond to one email. Last week I was up over 1300 in emails I needed to read, reply or delete!!!! I finally, sat down and over a span of 3 days really went to work to go through these emails. However, as I got to the bottom of my emails I found myself feeling horrible.

Yes, I had received some thoughtful emails, that in my opinion deserved an efficient reply and a mutual thoughtful email. I started to think how I would feel if I was in their position, and realized my narrow room for acceptance of tardy replies. To make up for this, I’ve now found myself trying to reply as quickly as the emails are sent. This is a tiresome duty. So, now I am struggling to find a median, in which I can create a process of replying to emails…..

I can’t help but find myself remembering the days of postal mail being the front runner in communication (besides phones). How I long for those days. I can’t help wondering what the state of emails will be in 10 years time.

A subscriber to emails,
Nicole

The audacity of hope! -- TODAY is a GREAT DAY.. A Day of Change, Hope and Rejuvination!

I am not sure of the feeling I have today… Indeed today is a special day for everyone, regardless if you are or aren’t an American citizen. The magnitude of Obama’s inauguration cannot be encapsulated by words, all we know is it is something uplifting, a fulfillment of dreams and above all a generator of HOPE world wide. As I sit in my hotel room here in the Czech Republic, my computer is glued to CNN anxiously awaiting the inaguaration of Barack Obama.

I am overwhelmed by emotion. I can’t help but think of Martin Luther King’s Speech “I have a dream,” where he states “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” This inauguration of Obama for demonstrates the fulfillment Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream, into a reality.

As a young Canadian black female growing up, I have always dreamt of this day. I believed in a world where racism would be less pervasive and equality for all would continue to grow. A world where would be lead by goodness and not cynicism.

It’s incredible to think that the US’s past election sited the largest turnout for votes in its history, AND from that Obama in a sweeping victory was elected President judged not by his colour but by the content of his character. Almost 46 years later, Martin Luther King’s Speech is seeing its fulfillment on the highest stage – Presidency. Ironically, while Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream, Barack Obama entered his first year of life, to someday lead a nation.

And while Obama may be an African-American, and this is the first African-American President, the even greater amazement of this day is the quality leader Americans have elected. Indeed Barack is a good man, beholding the kind of character most of us wish to have or want to be in its company…. a genuine interest in the betterment of all man and the belief that anything and all things are possible.

I leave you with an exert from Barack Obama’s speech at a Democratic National Convention: ,

In his speech addressing the Democratic National Convention in 2004, Obama said:

“ In the end, that's what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism or a politics of hope? John Kerry calls on us to hope. John Edwards calls on us to hope. I'm not talking about blind optimism here -- the almost willful ignorance that thinks unemployment will go away if we just don't talk about it, or the health care crisis will solve itself if we just ignore it. No, I'm talking about something more substantial. It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too. Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!”

Thank you USA for electing Barack Obama for president!

Your proud Canadian Neighbour,

Nicole W. Forrester

Living for NOW

Well, it’s been a couple weeks since my last blog. It’s been a little hard for me to blog, as what I felt I needed to blog most about was too painful for me to even bring to memory. So, I’ve pushed it to the back of memory, wishing the truth was a lie.

Last week, one of my closest friends had the unfortunate task of telling me our friend Olive Ikeh, had been killed in a car accident. Even now as I write this, I am still numb by this, challenged with the ability to grasp that I will never enjoy the company of Olive again. To know Olive, was to know what inimitable. Anyone fortunate to have met her was guaranteed to have had some impression left by her on them. Ironically, it was only a year a half ago where she was severely hit by a drunk driver and was granted another chance at life.

In my attempt to make sense of this, I take solace in the beauty she stood for, and realize that at any moment life as we know it can be illogically altered forever. All I have is today and this moment. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so I ask myself ‘if it were all to end what impression would I hope to have left on the world?’ And as I ache for the loss of Olive, I promise myself to make the most of this moment -- NOW. I move forward, doing all the things I wanted to do someday, now, and being the woman I hope to be someday, now. And definitely, definitely… no regrets!

Making the most of this moment,
Nicole

Pondering thoughts on Hockey

As a Canadian I obviously love the game of Hockey. It’s probably the first sport I can remember watching. However, I have never been a supporter of the fighting. It’s not tolerated in recreational hockey, so how is it professionally a part of the game. I mean really, the object of the game is to score a goal! I’ve yet to watch a NHL game where a fight doesn’t break out. And the worst part is fans actually cheer and encourage it. Really, now? We’ve had numerous cases of fights leading to serious injuries, the most recent being the death of Don Sanderson, a defenceman with the OHL Whitby Dunlops, on January 3, 2009!

When I was in University, I remember a year where 3 deaths in wrestling at various universities had occurred – one of which was a classmate and friend of mine, Jeff Resse. He had been attempting to cut 22lbs over four days to compete in a lower weight class when his heart failed. Unfortunately, it took 3 young men dying for the NCAA to change the rules regarding “making weight.” I can’t help wondering if we are going down the same path with Hockey?

And while many people may argue fighting has always been a part of the game, we should also remember there was a time when players played without helmets and goalies without facemask… but at some point changes were necessary. Jaques Plante the first goalie to ever wear a face mask, refused to return to the ice without face protection after breaking his skull, cheekbones, nose and jaw. Maybe we ca learn from Jacques Plante or wrestling when it comes to fighting and hockey. What a concept?

Pondering thoughts on Hockey,

Nicole

HOPE and a New Year

There are few people who know my debating thoughts on hope…. or rather, my previous thoughts on hope. In fact it might surprise you.

Being a Catholic, I have always been taught the value of love, hope and faith. So, it may be a surprise that up until a little while a go, I use to view Hope as a lesser strength. It seemed to involve a sense of uncertainty…. Like a wish cast out with a penny in a fountain – no assurance that one’s Hope would come to fruition. At least not like, “Faith” which seemed to err on the side of assurance, conviction, and certainty. Moreover, Hope also appeared to give room for doubt (like in the book Screwtape Letters).

Morgan Freeman encapsulates this dilemma (I’ve had) in the movie Shawshank Redemption when he says “Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” However, he too would learn the power, strength and beauty in hope. (Truly a great movie to see if you haven’t!)

I guess perhaps, I might have felt that one can be filled with false hope, only to have their heart broken if hope fails to deliver. It seemed a safer bet to place efforts on certainty, or what I could control.

But, what I am realizing is that hope surrounds us always. It plants those images in our minds of what can be. It takes us through the moments when everything else tells you no, but yet still you believe otherwise. It fills us with joy and happiness of what the future can hold in store. And it is certainly a cause of celebration for New Years.

I cannot describe why my view point on Hope evolved or has been transformed. Indeed it is powerful and fills me with joy when I think of where hope has taken me and is taking me. Yes, I am Hopeful and I Hope you are too!

Here’s to Hoping in 2009!
Nicole

Happy New Year!

It's just hours a way for many of you in Europe as you get ready to count down the seconds to a New Year! A New Year signifying Hope for good things to come. I want to take the time for thanking you all for sharing 2008 with me and being a part of my life. But, most importantly I want to wish you and yours a truly amazing 2009 -- fulfilling more than you could imagine. Happy New Year!

Voorspoedige Nuwejaar! (Afrikaan) - Stastny Novy Rok (Czech) - Chestita Nova Godina (Bulgarian) - Onnellista Uutta Vuotta! (Finnish) - Gelukkig nieuwjaar (Flemish) - Bonne Année (French) - Ein Glückliches Neues Jahr! (German) - Shana Tova (Hebrew) - Felice Anno Nuovo (Italian) - Shinnen Omedeto (Japanese) - Kong He Xin Xi (Mandarin) - Godt Nytt År (Norwegian) - Feliz Ano Novo! (Portuguese) - Feliz Ano Novo! (Romanian) - S Novym Godom ((Russian) - Feliz Año Nuevo (Spanish) - Iyi Senele (Turkey)

Season's Greetings

'Tis the season of forgiving, giving, joy happiness and Love! Pass it on! Cheerish this day and on wards. I wish you and youra a truly special Christmas!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Nicole

Drive with your Head not just with your Feet

I remember when I first got my license, my dad firmly advised me to always “Drive with my head and not just with my feet.” Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a speed-demon when the road conditions are good, but I’ve never forgotten this instruction. Especially, when the road conditions are not ideal!

Just Thursday I drove home to Canada, narrowly escaping the winter storm that pounded Michigan and Toronto! It literally began to snow at 8am on Friday and did not stop until 11pm that night! Possibly, more snow then the North Pole, itself! And now, we are currently preparing for another snow assail.

I really don’t mind the snow. I don’t mind driving in these conditions. What I do mind are the “idiots” who do not drive with their head. What happened to the importance of arriving alive! Yesterday, while out and about, I witnessed people driving with reckless abandon – following too closely behind, cutting drivers off, and speeding (just to name a few things)!

The sad thing is, people choosing to drive appropriately become victims in collisions involving irresponsible drivers. Currently, there are talks of invoking a charge/ticket to anyone who drives inappropriate for the conditions. I would definitely be in favor of such and act. Collisions can cost more than just a car repair, it can cost a life. Especially, during this holiday season please, please, please drive responsibly… Drive with your head… And arrive alive!

Continuing to drive with my head,
Nicole

Blinded by your Beauty

Yesterday while cleaning house, I watched the movie Shallow Hal. For those of you who are not familiar with this movie, it’s about a guy (Hal) who only dates women who are as close to perfection in appearance as possible, with little regard to the type of person they are. Upon a chance meeting with Tony Robbins (motivator speaker), he changes his view on the world, seeing the beauty of an individual from the inside only.

Besides the fact that this movie is hilarious, there are so many reasons I love this movie. For the first time, I noticed a line in the movie, where Hal’s neighbour comments on her disinterest in him (initially), because she believed he was superficial.

I couldn’t help but think, how much I agreed with this view point. For me, there is something so unattractive about a man who would only date or attempts to date women who are beautiful on the outside and not necessarily on the inside. My values would not be aligned with this individual!

Ironically, if there is a certain guy I am interested in and his ex was sensational – you know Mother Teresa, the Good Samaritan, and David R. Hawkins all rolled up into one, I’d first question how could he let her go, (2) applaud him for the ability to attract such a beauty and (3) feel honoured that he would choose to date me.

I really believe beauty is skin deep. And the beauty that is true is one that you can’t always see across a crowded room, but you can see by looking into one’s heart!

Blinded by your Beauty,

Nicole W. Forrester

SPECIAL DELIVERY

For most athletes in Athletics (Track and Field), Christmas may come a few times in a given year. These can be the arrival dates of our apparel shipments from our sponsors. While I am sponsored by Visa, my apparel & eyewear sponsors are Mizuno and Oakley.

It never fails! After all these years, my friends and I still get excited to receive our shipments. We’re curious to see the styles and colours for the coming season and how everything will fit. Obviously, Oakley shipment days are a lot of fun for me; however, unlike my friends, I’m often nervous with my apparel shipments.

I’m a healthy 1.92m in height (6’3 ½) with legs 50 ½ inches (126cm) and a waist 26 inches. So, having clothes fit me properly can be a problem. Essentially, I require my leggings and sleeved shirts to be long but also small in width. (I give size small another meaning.)

Mizuno, a Japanese company, uses OX, O, XO, XXO sizing chart (clearly, different from Canadian sizes). As a recent Mizuno athlete it has taken me some time to figure out where my body frame fits into their chart. Moreover, my Mizuno comes directly from Japan, not Canada, so correct sizing is even more critical. Determined, to figure out my appropriate sizes, while in Beijing, Mizuno methodically went through various clothes to determine my size. But, I still had some concerns – seriously, how does any small size fit my long limbs?

This week when my shipment arrived, I nervously opened my box. I wondered the torment it would unveil. Would I open it to find a lot of wonderful things unable to fit my unique body frame? Would I be wearing high water flood pants or Capri- length sleeved shirts? Incredible, to my dismay, everything fit! Right down to my winter jacket! In the history of receiving apparel shipment (from any company), this was a FIRST! Could I be dreaming! JACKPOT! I don’t know how they did it, but they did. Mizuno figured out my sizing for everything.

Just my size,

Nicole